START AGAIN MONDAY

Welcome to Start Again Mondays

Alrighty… start again

Something I’m Pondering

After spending a night out in the wild a few weeks back

I have been obsessed with a reality show called Alone

10 people dropped off separately into the wild with 10 items (axe, sleeping bag, roll of wire, etc)

And left to survive without any human contact for as long as they can

They have an emergency device for when they’ve had enough and want to go home

Last person left wins half a million dollars

Some of these people manage to last several months

Eating whatever they can find

But season two in particular got me really curious

Why?

The person who ended up surviving the longest was someone who I thought would be the first to give up

As soon as the helicopter dropped him off

It was revealed he had no idea what he was doing

And whilst other people had incredible skillsets and were thriving in harsh conditions

This guy couldn’t catch a fish

Couldn’t build a decent shelter 

And struggled to even keep himself dry

But as the weeks went on

People who had proved they knew exactly how to live out in the wild

Began dropping off like flies

The lack of human contact became too much and the competition simply lost its appeal

And yet he remained

Why?

Purpose

He had a strong purpose

Yes, he wanted that half a million dollars

But why did he want the money?

As a pastor, he had raised 3 children on a very small wage

And as the weeks went by, it was revealed that he was exhausted 

Exhausted of being a “no” dad

He had spent his 20 years of parenting having to say no to things due to a lack of finances

And he realised this time in the wild was his shot to change things

To become a yes dad

To say yes to going out for a coffee

To say yes to going on a family vacation

To say yes to helping his kids pay for their studies 

So as time went by

And other contestants realised they’d rather be surrounded by those they love than winning some gameshow money

This guys’ purpose turned into a resilience which overrode the lack of food, warmth, and shelter

Repeat 

The bi-product of his purpose, was resilience

So regardless of his skillset, he was able to outlast everyone

The show ends with him being flown home by helicopter 

He looks out over the misty island he has just spent 54 days surviving alone on and says something 

I recorded it on my phone and have been listening to it over and over again

Whether its true or not is irrelevant

Whats important here

Is that he made a conscious choice

He chose how he was going to deal with his adversity

He chose to respond rather than react

To focus on what he could control

Thus placing himself back in the drivers seat in his life

I hope you enjoy...

Got to admit, I did not picture myself leaving in a helicopter

First helicopter ride ever

I do have a love/hate relationship with this place

I get up in the morning and I confront the realities of my situation

Some days it’s great, and some days it’s horrible

But suffering has value

We avoid it at all costs

You would never want to go back and repeat it

But it has value

It’s a part of life

And nobody gets through life without suffering

Nobody 

The question is what do you allow it to do within you?

You can allow that suffering within you to make you bitter, angry

Just a wretched person 

You can allow that suffering to eat away at your soul

Turn in on itself and just chew you apart 

Or you can look for the deeper meaning in it

My philosophy on suffering is that the universe is trying to teach me something

And I know 

I know that in the end

I get to keep those lessons

And the pain goes away 

Something for Process

I keep a Monthly Dashboard

Its a simple spread sheet with 9 columns

I take a few minutes at the end of every month to measure some things

Why?

Because measuring = awareness

And awareness = choice

I started them two years ago and am slowly adjusting the questions to be more helpful as time goes on

Better questions = Better answers

So, what do I measure each month?

1. How much income did I bring in (This gives me a rough idea of how much of myself I’m giving, contributing to society)

2. Did I earn more than I spend? (This gives me an idea of whether my ship is sailing or sinking)

3. How much did I invest? (How much I’m taking responsibility for my future self)

4. How many days did I exercise? (This gives me a rough idea of how much I’m investing in my health)

5. How many Jiu Jitsu sessions did I do? (How much I’m playing like a monkey)

6. How many sessions did I have where I practiced my craft? (How much energy am I investing in improving my capabilities so I can give more of myself in the future)

7. How many adventures did I go on? (How much did I follow my curiosity, bliss or go get out of my comfort zone)

8. How many difficult conversations did I have? ("A person's success in life can be measured by the number of uncomfortable conversations they are willing to have” - Tim Ferris)

9. What did I celebrate? (What behaviour did I reward that serves my future self)

These questions give me some rough information

Information which helps me make some new choices 

They help me identify where my energy is going in life

For example, last month I did 22 Jiu Jitsu sessions and 1 acting practice

Not good, bad, right or wrong

I get to choose what this means and maybe make an adjustment for next month

Or not

Depends what is lighting me up vs what is making me feel de-energised

Hope this helps

Q&A of the Week

Hey Mike! How do you trust yourself with screen work? I trust myself when it comes to theatre but I can't seem to trust myself on screen - Sarah

Hey Sarah

Start again

Before we get into it, lets give up on any results, belief systems, or ideas of how screen acting “should” be that might be in the drivers seat

I had a bit of a shock when I realised how much other peoples’ ideas of performing on screen was driving my work

I wanted to bring it back to what made me light up - what energised me?

First - Purpose

I went for a walk, pulled out my phone, pressed record and spent 60 minutes recording myself trying to answer the question “why do I act?”

Whats my why for doing what I do?

Just talk, without editing, for an hour straight

An hour later (which, holy smokes, I found difficult) I discovered there were 2 ideas I kept looping back to on the recording

I wrote them down

Second - My Way

I pulled together my favourite screen scenes of all time, the ones which made me feel like life is worth living

What did I think they all had in common?

What was it about those performances which gave me clues as to how I could shift my paradigm about acting on screen

I wrote them down

I then thought about the moments when I felt like I had actually performed in a way which I was proud of

Even if there were only a few, I still had little glimpses, little wins of when I had experienced bliss in front of the lens

I wrote them down

Third - Practice

Go practice this where it actually counts

Normalise the new choices in front of the lens

Maybe include some external accountability in the form of a friend, colleague or coach

If its too uncomfortable, start smaller, lower the bar

Try find that wee bit outside of your comfort zone

Too much and it might be overwhelming 

And overwhelm = inaction (shut down)

We want little wins here, Sarah 

I know I’m not giving you direct answers

Because I’m trying to give you something which I believe to be far more important

Concepts 

For me, I realised that when I pressed record on the camera it was like a dragon entered the room

My throat would close up, I would fake a smile or a look

I would protect myself from letting the camera see me

Why?

Because I felt like I wasn’t enough

That I had to do something more, be something more in order for the lens to accept me

I realised I had to make friends with my dragon

Make my dragon smaller :)

One way forward - lean in

I had to go first

I had to accept myself as I am, and thus the lens would accept me

Actually - side note here

Will Smith talks about this 

He brings it back to the 101 of self development;

The lens represented the parent whom he had to work harder for as I child in order to achieve their love

Who did he believe he had to be in order to get their love vs who was he never allowed to be?

Some interesting questions.

For me, I realised I wanted to rebuild my foundations about what I thought screen acting was

So I started with a clean slate

Nothing

Can I do nothing?

Can I simply breathe as myself in front of the lens?

Actually be where I am as opposed to trying to show, pretend, protect, act, cover, hide

What am I really trying to get at here?

I needed to practice simply being me in front of the lens

Why?

Because I needed to let my body experience that its okay to simply be me in front of the camera

That I am enough

Even if I’m just breathing as myself

It’s enough

The more I trusted myself doing nothing, the more I began trusting myself doing something 

Hope this helps

…

If you have a question

Something you’re feeling stuck with, frustrated by, or perplexed about 

Please send it through to info@michaelsheasby.com 

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Email: info@michaelsheasby.com 

Articles: www.michaelsheasby.com/articles  

Process: www.michaelsheasby.com/process