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07/06/22

 

The Call of Jealousy

I grew up in Africa

And no

I did not have lions in my back yard

They were at least 20 minutes away

But in order to see them

A tracker had to guide you to them

Sure, you could get lucky

Drive in the reserves and stumble upon them

You could be hanging on the outside of the car window and turn a corner and stumble upon four of them eating a buffalo about 4 yards from the road

(The fastest I’ve ever climbed through a window)

But in most cases

For people really wanting to observe lions in their natural habitat

A tracker is the best bet

But how does a lion tracker know how to find the lions?

Well

They track em

One track at a time

But

How does the tracker know where to start looking for the tracks?

This part I love

They listen

The lion tracker gets up before sunrise

Makes a warm beverage

Sits outside in the darkness

And listens

They wait

And wait

Until it happens…

The call

A deep bellowing

Unmistakable

For a lot of people

It’s the sound from a nightmare

But for lion trackers

This is music

They go still

They use their body as a compass

And they rotate toward the direction they think the sound is coming from.

This is their first step

To listen to the call

And then?

They go.

There is a saying among trackers

“I don’t know where I’m going

But I know how I’m going to get there”

What do they mean?

They know they will get to their destination (wherever that may be)

If they simply follow one track at a time.

A while ago

I was chatting to someone

About how lion tracking relates to acting

Where is our call in the darkness?

Our call to find our first track?

The topic of jealously came up

“Listen to what makes you insanely jealous”

Ooo

What makes me jealous?

Immediately my mind floods with mid-shots and close-ups

Scenes

Characters

Things that I lose sleep over

That I lie awake at night thinking

“God, if I could only give that”…

Sarah Paulson’s 40 second take in The People Vs O.J. Simpson

Ugh

She hits about 19 thoughts in one close-up

The full spectrum of her character is delivered without a single bloody word

Benicio in that monster one take wide-shot from Escape at Dannemora

UGH

Be still my heart

That level of generous performance

That, to me, is worth not sleeping for

It’s worth forgetting to eat for

If I could just squeeze my screen with everything I have when I watch those moments…

I’m going to stop immediately with listing things because I will never actually finish this.

What I’ve found

I think is both eerie

And yet makes complete sense

That the things I took note of years ago

Which made me insanely jealous…

Gave me the direction to find my first tracks

That one shot in The Nightingale

Is eerily close to that shot I have obsessively watched in There will be Blood

That one take in Lost Boy

Is eerily close to that shot I’m addicted to in Boogie Nights

The most exhilarating part about this?

I have no idea where my next track is

The scared & controlling part of me is frustrated by this

The curious & open part of me is exhilarated by not knowing

I have no idea what will make me jealous tomorrow

But I think it might be time to wake up early

Sit outside with a warm beverage

And listen for the call of jealousy

What’s my point?

Listen to the call

Listen to what makes you insanely jealous

And follow it

Hope this helps

x Sheasby

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Podcast: The Actor’s Blueprint

Latest Episode: 24. Do Less Better

Found on both Apple & Spotify

x Sheasby

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